July 2010
38 posts
1 tag
Coworker: You look like Secretary Barbie today!
Me: I'm not a secretary... and Barbie is blonde, you know.
Coworker: Oh, I'm sorry. I meant Barbie's super-professional Hispanic BFF.
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad attacks Octopus Paul -... →
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, the Iranian leader, says Paul the Octopus, the sea creature that correctly predicted the outcome of World Cup games, is a symbol of all that is wrong with the western world.
He claims that the octopus is a symbol of decadence and decay among “his enemies”.
Paul, who lives at the Oberhausen Sea Life Centre, in Germany, won the hearts of the Spanish by...
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convo with the one who got away
Me: boys get on my nerves! why did you let me get a boyfriend?!
Matt: this is my fault?
Me: duh... any problem with my love life is your fault
Me: why would i stop blaming things on you now?
Matt: haha
Me: you're also the reason why i crave chick fil a on sundays, and sometimes miss the smell of cigarettes, and probably why i'm fat too
Matt: chick fil a is closed on sundays
Me: i know that. so it's your fault i want it when i can't have it
Me: DO YOU GET THE THEME HERE?
Matt: haha
Matt: :(
Me:
Matt: shut up
Matt: and you're not fat
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Coworkers, please know that when I give you a big stupid grin, in my mind I’m crushing your skull between my gritted teeth.
Have a happy Monday.
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"Single Girl" Behavior
One week apart and all the embarrassing habits I had hidden all summer come out in full force. Watching marathons of Jersey Shore sandwiched between way too many episodes of iCarly. Eating pickle slices straight from the jar. Sticking my finger in the cupcake frosting. Not shaving my legs. Dancing to the Glee soundtrack (and maybe the Rent soundtrack… okay, Phantom of the Opera too.) Wearing...
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“The absolute yearning of one human body for another particular body and its...”
– Iris Murdoch (via quotewhore)
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Baking my feelings, you guys.
So I decided now that the boy is gone (to Georgia for training, for the time being) and I am lonely and sad and college is over and I have all this free time and I’m somehow in my third consecutive long distance relationship (ridiculous)…
I need a hobby. (Besides, you know, reading and tumbling.)
I considered channeling Julia Nunes and playing ukulele. Or Bob Ross and painting (lots...
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This secretly goes through my head almost every...
Michael Scott: Okay, you know what? I will not donate my winnings to Comic Relief, since apparently, it doesn't exist. I am going to donate to Afghanistanis with AIDS.
Jim: The Aid to Afghanistan?
Michael Scott: No, I mean Afghanistanis with AIDS.
Phyllis: Afghani.
Michael Scott: What?
Phyllis: Afghani.
Michael Scott: That's a dog.
Pam: No, that's afghan.
Michael Scott: That's a shawl.
Dwight: Canine AIDS?
Michael Scott: No
Creed: Who has AIDS?
Jim: Guys, the Afghanistanannis.
Michael Scott: Okay, you know what? No. No. AIDS is not funny. Believe me, I have tried.
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Whoever realized Tuesday rhymed with Boozeday was...
Anonymous asked: You may or may not answer this, but inquiring (read: nosy and sleepless) minds want to know: what happened between you and Soup??
Currently loaning the boy my pink sparkly...
If that doesn’t mean I care, I don’t know what does…
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Love exists.
(via poortaste)
“The best way to find out if you can trust someone is to trust them.”
– Ernest Hemingway (via crookedindifference) (via hipsterdiet) (via markn)
I didn't want to meet him.
I had sworn off guys. For a while at least… a few months. While I took my last two college classes and tried to figure out what I wanted to do with myself after that. My whole life had been turned upside down when I decided not to go to New York and I needed to put the pieces back together.
I was only going out that Friday to take my mind off things. I said it over and over again in the car...
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hey tumblrrr
I’m trying to make my quasi-impromptu trip to New Orleans this weekend as awesome as possible. What are the places I absolutely cannot miss?
Oops
Falling in love on accident was the best non-decision I ever made.
Anonymous asked: i was reading huff post, saw an article about bush meat in paris, got curious and googled zebra meat, stumbled upon a random tumblr blog, randomly clicked on a follower, got to your blog...and fell in love.
by the time i go to bed tonight my heart will be broken for our love will never be. but i know i will experience seconds of bliss as I fall in love again and again and again.
by the time i go to bed tonight my heart will be broken for our love will never be. but i know i will experience seconds of bliss as I fall in love again and again and again.
(I like to tell myself that rather than “liking” the song I posted, you guys are all clicking the little heart because you’re happy I’m in luuuurve.)
Rilo Kiley- I Never
I’ve got nothing to...
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Screw. You. Apple.
That little commercial for the iPhone4 where the girl shows her sonogram to her boyfriend in the Army on FaceTime videochat? Real sweet, right?
That’s NOT FREAKING COOL. Because 1) I already put my make up on and I did not feel like crying. And 2) I had already convinced myself I didn’t need to buy it right now and with Army Boyfriend leaving in like two-ish weeks and me being a sad...
“Swimsuit, couple pairs of shorts, t-shirts, toothbrush, and NO BRAS”
– The Boy, re: what I should pack for the lake this weekend
I keep waiting for someone to tell me this is a...
Surely I’m not really finishing college next week. Isn’t there some degree requirement I overlooked?
And did I seriously meet someone I want to spend time with every single day? Someone who makes me laugh and smile and glow…
Is it even possible to be this happy?
This has to be a dream, but please no one pinch me. Because if I burst, there’s no way I’ll survive the...
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June 2010
21 posts
There really is a God.
As I walked down the stairs from my office to get a cup of coffee, I thought “God, I would kill someone for a donut right now.”
And then, by some sort of miraculous act of divinity, when I got downstairs, there were not one, not two, but three huge boxes of glazed rings of deliciousness brought in by a local hotel.
I took that first bite and knew “There really is a God. And he...
“The real lover is the man who can thrill you by kissing your forehead, or...”
– Marilyn Monroe (via afghanibanani)
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Acceptance - So Contagious
“We’re two peas in a fucked up pod.”
– Tara
kt: no, i would like him no matter what letter his last name started with.
kt: that's just the cherry on the sprinkles on the icing on the cupcake filled with freaking ganache.
kell: wow
kell: that's a fattening cupcake.
kt: kell, it's a metaphor...
kt: a metaphor for loooove
kell: well, i guess it's metaphorically fattening.
kt: fine, then i will be metaphorically fat
kt: .... with loooove.
kell: AWW
kell: gross
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I hate when people whistle.
Seriously, shut the hell up. No one wants to hear that ish.
Dinner Last Night:
-Sauteed Lemon Scented Atlantic Scallops with Lobster Buerre Blanc -Garlic Truffle Fries -Dirty martini with bleu cheese stuffed olives -While wearing a new dress and enjoying the company of a boy I happen to like very much
Dinner Tonight:
-Mac & cheese from a box -Unsweetened applesauce in a Monsters, Inc. bowl -Half a glass of lemon-lime Koolaid -While wearing my...